Channeling Lynn Spears

Landing a 3-minute middle school parent/teacher conference in New York is akin to running with the bulls. Not everyone makes it to the finish line, and those who do hope simply to not be gored at the end. I grew up in the southwest, where competing for a limited number of 3-minute teacher conference slots is simply bizarre. But I am now a New Yorker with two children in the public middle school system and so I am becoming tougher by the year. Today I jumped in the parent/teacher conference competition for my son who is just starting his middle school career.

The hallways were crammed with worried parents who were shocked to see their star student kids come home with report cards that read “satisfactory” but not “excellent”. One boy reported that his parent slapped him upon seeing the report card. The hallway rumor mill reports that schools are graded on “improvement”, and therefore it is quite unusual to get an “excellent” in any subject in the first quarter.

While I was waiting in the long snaking line of parents anxious to speak to Ms. Quackenbush, the homeroom teacher, I asked other parents how they were able to take an afternoon off from work for about 9 total minutes of teacher interaction. The parent next to me explained that she is a professional personal lingerie shopper and therefore has a flexible schedule. She first evaluates her client’s existing lingerie collection, and then escorts them to some of New York’s finest underwear stores. Her results are transformative, which she credits to a course she took on “women studying pleasure”. I asked her why women had such a hard time buying underwear. She blamed a pitiful social environment that suppresses women’s abilities to feel good about themselves.

Nobody was interested in chatting with me while I waited for the science teacher (perhaps they had overheard the lingerie conversation and were frightened), so I read the packet of information handed to parents as we arrived. This small packet included a full page of safety advice for teens. They recommend that teens carry $10 in “escape money” so that if a cab driver starts acting bizarre you can toss ten bucks at him and jump out at a red light.

Apparently the public school authorities understand that you’ve got to be tough to be a New Yorker. Loretta graduated from middle school in the Bronx, which may explain her safety shrewdness. Just last week as I was leaving the office after dark she advised me to roll up my New York Times very tightly like a stick so I can shank any muggers in the throat if attacked. And then she added as an aside, run like hell afterwards because the mugger will be very angry. I am pretty sure that Loretta has never seen the New York Times used in this way, and I’m very sure that if I am mugged I will politely turn over my ipod.

It’s tough being a stage Mom – even if you are an education stage Mom where the goal is far, far from celebrity-dom. There is a lot of waiting around. I read Lynn Spear’s autobiography to see if I could learn some things that might put stage Mom-ing to good causes. There are some bizarre moments in the book – like when she nearly sent her teen daughter to a Christian home for unwed pregnant teens and instead brought her to New York on a vacation where they snuck in to the movie theatre to watch “Juno.” Mostly it seems that Lynn Spears transported Britney and her sister to lots of extra curricular activities, and waited around. Plus, when she could, she got pushy.

The first time I ran with the bulls was for my daughter, when parents began assembling an hour ahead of the scheduled conference time outside the school doors in the bitter November wind. At exactly noon the principal threw open the doors and parents ran – literally – up the five flights of stairs to the middle school floor. Some parents got winded by floor three and slowed down or stopped to take off their jackets, but the more fit parents just ran past them. Finally, my gym membership had really paid off. Once on the fifth floor, the trick was to run from classroom to classroom and sign up for a meeting, and then race back and forth through the hallways to check your status on the call sheets. The most entertaining meeting was with the gym teacher, who stopped me in the hallway and said “You are Mia’s Mom, I guarantee you that you are Mia’s Mom…” and then led me to his desk where he talked non stop for the entire three minutes, ending with “No matter what happens, Mia’s team won the 6th grade volleyball championships and you can never take that away from her. She served the winning point, did she tell you that? Nope, nobody can ever take that away from her. Never.”

A few weeks ago while shopping for high schools at the borough fair, I switched gears and started asking hard questions, like whether the school environment was gay friendly. One guidance counselor became flustered, claiming “I can’t know what everyone is thinking” and told me the story of how a few years ago a student “had a parent situation like mine” but problems were averted because “only one of them came with her at a time to the school, they didn’t ever come together.” A few guys from the performing arts schools were gleeful to be asked and begged me to choose their school.

It was far more satisfying to engage in a discussion about creating an empowering and respectful educational environment rather than focusing on whether or not my kid should have received an “excellent” grade instead of the less glamorous “satisfactory.” Loretta has told me to stop harassing public workers, but I couldn’t help myself. I called my daughter’s school principal and asked her what she is doing to make sure there isn’t gender bias in the classroom. They have ramped up their ballroom dancing curriculum, but the girls outnumber the boys so my daughter has been assigned the role of a “boy”. I asked the principal what she intended to do about the fact that the dance program reinforced the role of boys as leaders and girls as followers. Couldn’t she have simply assigned my daughter to the role of “leader”, instead of forcing a gender switch? And isn’t it possible that two girls might someday want to ballroom dance together? In a month where gay marriage just became legal in Connecticut, shouldn’t these kids be able to imagine a groom and groom waltzing?

Unfortunately, after about three minutes, the principal was called away to an emergency meeting in the middle of our phone conversation.

Funny News

“You won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore…”
- former President Richard Nixon to the press after losing his 1962 race for California Governor

Researchers from Pew have reminded us again that distrust of news organizations is on the rise. This trend started well before this Presidential election race, but the fury on the campaign trail is accelerating some viewer discontent. The McCain/Palin campaign has whipped up so much fury about the media on the campaign trail their supporters recently made obscene gestures at the media caravan that was covering their town hall gathering.

News parody shows like the Daily Show and the Colbert Report have benefited from this growing trust gap. Now CNN and other news outlets are imitating Comedy Central, with new shows like DL Hughley Breaks the News. The new CNN effort is more akin to The Tonight Show than the Daily Show, but it’s intent is clear: comic relief. “When you watch as much news as our audience does, there comes a time when you just want to stop and laugh” said CNN executive Jonathan Klein.

Audiences are finding satire to be a more genuine look at the day’s events. As fun as the Saturday Night Live skits have been, I’m disappointed that news organizations aren’t trying to solve their growing credibility problems by become more, well, credible. Maybe drawing a more clear line between opinion and fact would be a good start.

In a recent article, Pew reminds us of some historical attacks on the integrity of the press. Those with the biggest bully pulpits have been at the forefront of undermining trust of the media:

Thomas Jefferson once said that he would prefer newspapers without a government to a government without newspapers. In the aftermath of news reports regarding his personal life, he flipped sides and said, “The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.”

Lyndon Johnson called the New York Times “a bunch of commies”, and in recent weeks Governor Sarah Palin whips up her crowds into a chorus of boos aimed at the “liberal media” and “The New York Times.” McCain campaign senior advisor said that the New York Times “is today not by any standard a journalistic organization.”

President H.W. Bush used this slogan on his campaign trail: “Annoy the media: re-elect Bush.” His son, President George W. Bush, claims to “glance at the headlines” but “rarely read the stories”, preferring instead to have “people on my staff [tell] me what’s happening in the world.”

Newt Gingrich ranted earlier this week about the Presidential election news coverage, “…we have been brainwashed, propagandized, insultingly lectured by the news media”.

Although I am dubious about the wisdom of CNN competing with Comedy Central, I am a big fan of using comedy and art to authentically speak out about society’s complex struggles. That’s why Camino PR published a book of cartoons last year. Here are a few of my favorites:

Best campaign video

The AARP has an incredible viral video campaign — if you haven’t seen it yet, check it out. People love to see themselves in a story — the AARP mastered that concept with this creative execution:

Pirate Public Relations

Even pirates are in the PR business.

The “PR Play of the Week” – as designated by PR Week’s Tonya Garcia – was awarded to the pirates earlier this month. In fact, the PR Play Rating was “ingenious”, which beat the “savvy” rating that myself and colleagues received a few years ago for our Free EC promotion. Professional jealousy aside, the pirate public relations campaign showcases the value of publicity even for the most profound uphill reputation battles. In this case the “pirates” attempted to reposition themselves as something like a “coast guard.”

Pirate spokesman Sugule Ali called the New York Times from a satellite phone on a Ukrainian cargo ship that he and his co-pirates had hijacked. Ali’s message was that his group was interested only in money, not the $30 million in weapons onboard that put an international spotlight on the robbery. He tried to move his reputation from piracy (translated as “sea bandit” in his region) to the expected actions of a coast guard patrolling its waters. Ali is awarded kudos from PR week for normalizing the pirate experience and downgrading the international alarm: “We just saw a big ship, so we stopped it.”

Here are the partial transcripts from Ali’s interview:

Q. Have the pirates been misunderstood? ?A. We don’t consider ourselves sea bandits [”sea bandit” is one way Somalis translate the English word pirate]. We consider sea bandits those who illegally fish in our seas and dump waste in our seas and carry weapons in our seas. We are simply patrolling our seas. Think of us like a coast guard.
Q. Why did you want to become a pirate??A. We are patrolling our seas. This is a normal thing for people to do in their regions.
Q. Isn’t what you are doing a crime? Holding people at gunpoint??A. If you hold hostage innocent people, that’s a crime. If you hold hostage people who are doing illegal activities, like waste dumping or fishing, that is not a crime.
Q. What has this Ukrainian ship done that was a crime? ?
A. To go through our waters carrying all these weapons without permission.
Q. What is the name of your group? How many ships have you hijacked before??
A. I won’t say how many ships we have hijacked. I won’t talk about that. Our name is the Central Region Coast Guard.

Ali may not view himself as a pirate, but piracy is rooted in the tradition of taking direct action for the good of the disenfranchised.

I had suspected that pirates were overly caricatured after taking my son to the nation’s only pirate museum last July. Displayed among the torture devices used by and on pirates were descriptions about their socialist tendencies. The pirates, according to the museum, were motivated by a combination of socialism (the wealth ought to be distributed evenly among the people) and political democracy (Royalty should not impose taxes, etc). The museum notes that they were also violent, lawless, and cruel – but in some cases no more so than the governments they were opposing. It seems clear that some pirates were motivated to challenge the greed and corruption of monarchy, but it seems also clear that many, after having “stolen back” the people’s wealth, failed to share the loot.

The pirate museum is located in Provincetown, Massachusetts, where a sunken pirate ship was recovered a few decades ago. John F Kennedy Jr among other wealthy adventurers backed the exploration. Apparently the ship’s captain had foolishly pushed ahead during a bad storm because he was anxious to meet up with a Provincetown girlfriend. This all happened very close to the site where the pilgrims had first landed. The pilgrims found Provincetown to be so grim that they re-boarded and proclaimed their official landing to be their second stop, Plymouth Rock. Now Provincetown is a gay-friendly artist colony where flocks of tourists meander up and down its main drag, watching comedy and buying t-shirts.

At the pirate museum kids were eager to buy fake eye patches and plastic swords. Ali’s world of “piracy” is far from Provincetown’s caricature. When asked if he was fearful of the escalating international standoff, he said, “We’re not afraid of arrest or death or any of these things. For us, hunger is our enemy.”

I am far from expert about the battles off the coast of Somalia. But I can see why PR week was intrigued by Ali’s efforts. Adding nuance and a storyline to this international crisis was profoundly impactful public relations.

The Mock Execution

“Everybody enjoyed it and had a good time”
High school principal Nathan Chaddick responding to criticism that a mock execution skit by cheerleaders was inappropriate.

In Nacogdoches Texas the halftime cheerleading routine included a mock execution where some cheerleaders were forced to kneel in a line and then were “shot” in the back of the head with fake guns, execution-style. The “dead” cheerleaders were then dragged into a pile where a celebration ensued, including throwing money into the air. Laughter and clapping from the crowd is heard on the videotape. School administrators would not allow student protestors to include a critique of school officials in the school newspaper – though an excerpt from the editorial did make it to AOL headline news.

Chaddick blames objection to the skit on a couple of girls who have a grudge against cheerleaders, and thinks it was inappropriate for the writers of the editorial to use the term “fearleaders.” Over a hundred students have signed a protest petition. In days long past principals like Chaddick could exert control over school outlets like newspapers. Years ago his ability to censor melted with the advent of new media, but he seems to have just learned this hard lesson in recent weeks.

Far from small town Texas, Hollywood stars Hillary Duff and Wanda Sykes have produced commercials aimed at curbing hateful language among teens. The ad council just released the new PSA’s that urge teens to “think before they speak.” Research found that LGBT teens are 90% likely to have heard the phrase “that’s so gay” used in a pejorative way.

In the gulf between do-gooders Duff and Sykes in Hollywood and principal Chaddick in southeast Texas lies the average teen experience. Teens didn’t create gay slurs or socially acceptable violence; they recreate the adult world that they experience.

After several days of mounting national scrutiny, School Superintendent Dr. Rodney Hutto apologized today for the skit. Hutto’s favorite movie is “Gladiators,” which has an eerie parallel to the scene of adults and kids crowded into the bleachers at Nacogdoches High cheering an execution. Nevertheless, Hutto is firmly denouncing the incident as well as the censorship. The skit had been approved by Kristen Jaspar, an adult advisor who acts as the cheerleading sponsor on behalf of the school district. No word yet on whether she has been reprimanded.

Nacogdoches is about 175 miles southeast of Dallas and touts itself as the oldest town in Texas. A famous book about Nacogdoches delves into its history of lynching. Nacogdoches is represented on the Board of Education by Barbara Cargill, a former “cheerleader sponsor” like Jaspar. Cargill has not publicly commented on the controversy. We get a glimpse of her world view on her website, where she posts the biblical verse Jeremiah 29:11-12. In this biblical reference, Jeremiah tries to convince a persecuted people that god will rescue them in the end, but in the meantime they ought to be good citizens. It is a lesson lost on the high school cheerleaders, their advisors, and their cheering fans.

Cargill is part of a group of board members that recently promoted the “National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools”, which critics claim inserts a particular conservative view of Christianity into public education.

The board has also been embroiled in controversy about the teaching of evolution after more than 800 Texas scientists signed a statement criticizing current board standards that they claim allow “supernatural explanations into science courses.” Cargill supports the board stance, claiming that discussing both sides of evolution results in a “well-rounded education.”

Cargill is supported by Cathie Adams, President of Texas Eagle Forum, a chapter of Phyllis Schafley’s national group. Schafley’s most recent accomplishment is being a close advisor to Sarah Palin. The Vice Presidential candidate was also a cheerleader in high school, and has been speaking to large, enthusiastic crowds about the value of small town America. Her path – cheerleader, parent volunteer, local city council member, and so on should remind us about the importance of local leadership. Palin claims to be bringing small town values to the White House. She doesn’t represent the values of my small hometown, but she is right about the importance of local leaders like Chaddick and Cargill.

The Six Pack

First the McCain team accuses Obama of being “pointy headed” and then they define their Vice President as “Joe Six-Pack.” What’s behind the war on sober intellectuals? I work in the Chelsea district of Manhattan, where “six pack” indisputably refers to the stomach area. The gyms are packed with graduate students, thus making this the most pointy-headed, six-pack neighborhood in America.

Merriam-Webster defines “Joe Six-Pack” as an ordinary man, specifically a blue-collar worker. It derives from “the stereotype of a six-pack of beer as a workingman’s drink”. A less flattering definition can be found on Answers.com: “A lower-middle-class male…This disparaging term, first recorded in 1977, conjures up the image of a man in undershirt and construction helmet who will down all of a six pack (six cans or bottles of beer sold in a package) in an evening.” Wikepedia defines the term as a “more pejorative” version of “John Q. Public”, implying a lower class citizen.

“Six Pack” was coined in 1952, but the term “Joe Six Pack” entered the public lexicon in the 1970’s. A Boston Globe reporter (Nolan) asserted that a politician named Joe Moakley was courting “Joe Six-Pack” when he was campaigning for a congressional seat against Louise Day Hicks. Nolan claimed that Moakley was urging working class voters to be more robust in their engagement of political issues. The political undercurrent of the election was racism and school desegregation efforts.

Hicks rose to political prominence for blocking the Boston School Committee from formally acknowledging de facto segregation in the Boston public school system in 1963, and for rigorously opposing court-ordered busing for desegregation purposes in 1965. She served in Congress for one term, and was then narrowly defeated by Moakley, who subsequently served fourteen terms.

Nolan claimed that all of the reader mail he received about the term was negative, accusing him of using ethnic stereotypes. Despite the Nolan backlash, the term became a modern, though often pejorative, version of “John Q Public.” The philosophy behind the term continued to rise in prominence. For example, researchers note that in the early 1970s ABC News launched a new concept called “Eyewitness News” which was intended to appeal to “Joe and Martha Six-pack” or, in other words, “a less educated and less affluent mass audience.”

Bill Clinton was fond of the term but applied it quite different from Palin. Clinton used the term to distinguish himself from the average citizen and thus appear Presidential, whereas Palin uses it to distinguish herself from politicians and thus appear average. In an interview with Time Magazine about the dismissal of the Paula Jones lawsuit, Clinton explained his support for not getting his day in court: “If I were just a private citizen – Joe Six Pack – I would have mixed feelings about not getting a chance to disprove these allegations in court.”

In 2000, two pollsters published a book that Business Week touted as “the importance of Joe Six-Pack”, which laid out a case for appealing to the white working class electorate. The Republicans have to be laser-focused on this strategic approach. Palin is appealing to the boys when she emphasizes her “Joe Six Pack” credentials. McCain’s strongest base is among white married men (roughly 56% McCain, 37% Obama), and among this crowd he does much better with voters who do not have a graduate degree. It’s undeniable that McCain and Palin are courting an important voting bloc, and that it’s Biden’s job to undermine these efforts by emphasizing his own working class roots.

My favorite response so far comes from G. Xavier Robillard, who writes:

“Governor Sarah Palin has claimed that she’s an “everyday, working class American”, and that “it’s time that Joe six-pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency.” I think so, too, in the same way that I’d like to see a forklift operator operate on my brain.”

Roe v Palin

Katie Couric, Tina Fey and youtube are experiencing a windfall from Sarah Palin’s candidacy. It’s the best television season since West Wing folded shop. I posted Couric’s interview with Palin & Biden on Roe v Wade below in case you haven’t caught it.

PR Week is encouraging more corporations to develop a YouTube strategy, despite the fact that the most popular youtube videos are not ones that typically attract general audience consumers. Comedian Judson Laipply is the second highest ranked youtube superstar, generating around 100 million views for his video, “Evolution of Dance” . Typical viewer comments are far from intellectual, like “that was freaking AWESOME!.” A laughing baby in a high chair ranks number ten with 62 million views.

Many more people will tune in to the laughing baby than will watch Katie Couric grill Sarah Palin. But YouTube remains an important publicity vehicle for all types of organizations and corporations. A recent study shows that 25% of YouTube households have an income in excess of $100,000. The 35-54 year old crowd dominates the audience share at 44%.

Here’s the Couric interview:

Couric interviews Palin on Roe v Wade

Good Grammar

“I’m going to think about that, yes — writing a book,”
- President George W. Bush pondering the possibility of writing a book after he leaves office

Grammar, having been battered incoherent by politicians and bloggers, is stubbornly standing between middle school students and their desire to attend New York’s most elite public high schools.

I am coaching my daughter for the specialized high school admissions test. The first hurdle is the scrambled paragraph. The idea is to read the first sentence of a paragraph, and then figure out the correct order of the subsequent sentences. This exercise will demonstrate your ability to grasp the main idea and to understand the most logical way to support the main idea.

Try writing down the correct order of this sample test paragraph:

The human male, hearing for the first time about the heartrending love-life of the male praying mantis, would wonder that the species continues.
Q. The anxiety comes from an instinctual awareness that he is likely to quite literally lose his head during mating; this dread seems to slow the process for up to several hours.
R. In response, the female who is locked beneath him turns her head and, if she can manage to, bites his head off.
S. Though now dead, he remains locked in mating position, and the course of the anxiety is ended.
T. The release of his sperm speeds up after his demise, assuring a large supply of future praying mantis (who, in the manner of insects, have no further use for the progenitor).
U. But in the insect world, romance is not an issue – the drive to reproduce is – so the male praying mantis mounts the much larger female despite his anxiety.

You don’t get partial credit, so make sure you’ve got the right order. Otherwise, you are likely not eligible to attend Stuyvesant High School.

I have to wonder about the wisdom of discussing the lethal sex habits of the male praying mantis on the entrance exam. I suspect that admissions officers put this question on the test to see which kids will get distracted by the mental image of an insect ripping the head off of her sexual partner. Only applicants that score among the top 3- 5% of aspiring New York brainiacs get admitted; they apparently are nonplussed when watching Animal Kingdom.

Here’s the answer key:
UQRST

Excellent writing skills have been on the decline among graduates over the years. Voters have rarely valued the proper use of the English language when choosing U.S. Presidents. After Warren Harding died, E.E. Cummings said, “The only man, woman or child who wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.”

The Bush era of freewheeling grammar is nearing its end, though if Palin is elected she may continue his practice of throwing the administrations full support behind the value of scrambled paragraphs. Just in case traditional grammar does rise again, however, those who have reveled in a world where articulate speech was so very passé may be wise to join the middle schoolers for test prep.

Undecided and Online

Remember when McCain announced his candidacy on David Letterman a few years ago? Now Letterman’s rant this week about McCain canceling on his show last minute so that he could rush back to DC and fix the wall street meltdown is a youtube top hit. Instead of heading back to DC, McCain headed over to Katie Couric’s New York news desk to conduct an interview. During his show, Letterman cut to a live feed of an unsuspecting McCain getting touched up by the make up artist on Katie Couric’s New York set.

This live TV moment was the final proof that this campaign coverage is the equivalent of a reality TV show. The brouhaha has created massive online traffic for Letterman - in fact Letterman got a much better viewership than he might have received if McCain had actually shown up for his interview.

Obama is branded as the internet savvy candidate. McCain is still getting pilloried for saying on the campaign trail, “I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself…I don’t expect to be a great communicator, I don’t expect to set up my own blog, but I am becoming computer literate to the point where I can get the information that I need.”

Despite the fact that he has long served on the Senate Commerce Committee, which oversees Telecom law, McCain has not been a powerful voice on internet regulation and has been criticized by national civil rights leaders for opposing increased internet access for schools and libraries. His online campaign strategies seem to mirror his legislative approach: hands off and a bit traditional.

But new marketing research adds a more complex layer to the online electoral battle. Obama cyber-mania may be making campaign history, but a new study shows that McCain’s traditional online strategy may actually give him an important voting edge.

According to MediaPost, “McCain is drawing nearly 11% more traffic from politically neutral sites than the Obama campaign.” The assumption is that undecided voters are more likely than others to be drawn to the neutral sites. That’s a small percentage of people looking at political content online, but it’s a massive percentage of voters with the opportunity to swing the election.

The McCain camp has invested heavily in paid search terms, while the Obama team has generated a colossal online presence through natural search rankings. You might think this gives Obama an advantage, because he’s developed a grassroots driven online network of support. But marketing research says otherwise: in the consumer world, people who clicked on paid ads/terms took action, like purchasing something, at a much higher rate than people who clicked on something resulting from an organic search. In some cases the paid clicks netted a sale about 50% more often than an organic search.

Not all consumer marketing research converts to advocacy. But it’s useful to learn from Madison Avenue.

There are three types of online shoppers: those that click on a brand, like “Converse”, those that click on a generic category, like “shoes”, and a pretty small group of people that click on both. Similar to the political shoppers, each category of shopper responds to unique marketing efforts. In the consumer marketplace, the biggest bang comes from people who click on a branded term (51%) compared to those looking at generic terms (37%). Few people did both (12%). Very roughly translated, the 12% crowd is the equivalent of the politically neutral web surfer. They are undecided and a bit malleable.

Taking the concept offline, it’s a bit like shopping for office furniture at a thrift shop versus at Ikea. It takes patience to buy used furniture, but the payoff can be significant. Most people head straight to Ikea, some browse for deals, and a small number dip their toe into both worlds. It’s those that are waffling between Ikea and the thrift store that make up the undecided shopper, and whose consumer habits may help to inform strategies about marketing to the undecided voter.

A few years ago Winnie took me to Century 21, Manhattan’s famous four-story discount department store, after I had complained incessantly about New York’s wickedly cold winter. It was a head throbbing, nauseating experience. There were no less than 1 million coats for sale, some on hangers and many dropped on the floor. She made me try on no less than 500,000 coats, most of which looked substantially worse on my body than on the hanger. I prefer the smallest of boutiques, with clothes displayed like rare works of art. My challenge is that I have a Century 21 budget with a Barney’s mental model. Perhaps that’s why the 12% of people who both shop certain brands and shop generically on line are the least likely to make purchases. It’s not that I don’t need to shop, it’s just that if the choice is between pouring through racks of tightly packed discount coats looking for the one that has no shoulder pads and going into debt to buy the designer label, I lose my will to make any purchase at all.

I am the consumer equivalent of the undecided online voter. My power is miniscule as an online consumer; however, the power of the undecided online voter looms like a massive storm cloud.

Sound bites

I am so distracted by a whirlwind of sound bites on the bailout and the Presidential race that I am having a hard time blogging. Here’s a sampling of sound bites:

“Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency,”
Henry Paulson Jr, Treasury Secretary, proposing bailout language:

“This massive bailout is not a solution. It is financial socialism and it’s un-American,”
-Senator Jim Bunning, Republican

“This was no act of God. This was not like Hurricane Hike — Ike, rather. It was created by a combustible combination of private greed and public regulatory neglect, and now we must confront the present crisis.”
- Senator Chris Dodd

Here are some sound bites from the campaign trail:

BIILL CLINTON talking about Sarah Palin’s candidacy:

[Clinton] said voters would think, “I like that little Down syndrome kid…”

SARAH PALIN talking to Katie Couric about the Wall Street meltdown:

Couric: You’ve said, quote, “John McCain will reform the way Wall Street does business.” Other than supporting stricter regulations of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac two years ago, can you give us any more example of his leading the charge for more oversight?

Palin: I think that the example that you just cited, with his warnings two years ago about Fannie and Freddie - that, that’s paramount. That’s more than a heck of a lot of other senators and representatives did for us.

Couric: But he’s been in Congress for 26 years. He’s been chairman of the powerful Commerce Committee. And he has almost always sided with less regulation, not more.

Palin: He’s also known as the maverick though, taking shots from his own party, and certainly taking shots from the other party. Trying to get people to understand what he’s been talking about - the need to reform government.

Couric: But can you give me any other concrete examples? Because I know you’ve said Barack Obama is a lot of talk and no action. Can you give me any other examples in his 26 years of John McCain truly taking a stand on this?

Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.

Couric: I’m just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.

Palin: I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.

JOHN MCCAIN on the campaign trail after not talking to a national reporter for 41 days:

“Has your bus become the No Talk Express?”, a reporter on the bus shouting to McCain as he walked by reporters.

John McCain explaining to a national reporter why he chose Sarah Palin as VP shortly after the “No Talk Express” complaint:
“ First of all, anybody who’s governed a state has some economic experience. And by the way, she cut taxes. The second thing is, she shares the world view that I have.”

JOE BIDEN stumbling through the campaign trail:

Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America…Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.”

“Chuck, stand up, let the people see you,” Biden to State Senator Chuck Graham a paraplegic in a wheelchair.

“I thought that was terrible by the way.” - when asked about an Obama campaign ad attacking McCain.

CINDY MCCAIN talking to George Stephanopolous about Sarah Palin:

Stephanopolous: But she has no national security experience.
McCain: You know, the experience that she comes from is what she’s done in government, and remember, Alaska is the closest part of our continent to Russia. It’s not as if she doesn’t understand what’s at stake here.

SARAH PALIN talking to Katie Couric about whether Russia’s proximity to Alaska bolsters her foreign policy credentials:

“Well, it certainly does because our– our next-door neighbors are foreign countries. They’re in the state that I am the executive of.”

What’s Hollywood saying about all this?

“It’s as if [Sarah Palin] became celebrated. I mean, the mother, Palin, was celebrated for this. Every woman in the world has applauded her strength and her convictions and poor little old Jamie Lynn, you saw how she was crucified — everybody did, firsthand. I just feel like it’s been a very hypocritical situation.”
- Lynn Spears, mom of teenage mom Jamie Lynn Spears

“…I will tell you a secret: Her baby does sleep all night. What do you think about those apples?
Lynn Spears, mom of teenage mom Jamie Lynn Spears

“Is our country so divided that the Republicans’ best hope is a narrow-minded, media-obsessed homophobe?” Lindsay Lohan

“I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only four years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be.” Lindsay Lohan

“It’s like a really bad Disney movie, “The Hockey Mom.’ Oh, I’m just a hockey mom from Alaska, and she’s president. She’s facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink. It’s absurd.” – Matt Damon

“There’s nothing more scary than watching ignorance in action”
- Tommy Smothers accepting his Emmy award, after commenting on the war

Next Page »