Middle School Tragedy

“Our hearts go out to Lawrence’s family - and to all young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender kids who are - right now, right this minute - being bullied and beaten in school while adults look the other way.”
- National Gay & Lesbian Task Force

A 14-year-old boy was shot in the head in his middle school classroom last week, probably because he was openly gay. Time reporter John Cloud took exception to the above quote issued by NGLTF in the wake of the murder of Stephen Lawrence last week. Cloud claims that the group had no basis on which to claim “adults look the other way” - he assumes that NGLTF was accusing adults at that particular school of negligence. Further, he asserts that LGBT organizations exaggerate claims of harassment among teens.

Whatever the numbers reveal, the fact is that homophobia is a deeply embedded part of school culture. Even in my son’s elementary school, which proactively takes measures to be inclusive and gay-friendly, the kids toss around gay slurs with abandon. Terms like “that’s so gay” or “you’re such a homo” are so prevalent in schools that there has to be some adult, somewhere, either looking the other way or using the same terms.

When do claims prevail as common sense, and when do they need careful research?

In a string of recent stories about teens and internet safety, gay hostility is at the heart of the tragedy. The suicide of Megan Meier followed a campaign of harassment by a fake myspace character whose identity had been sparked by homophobia. According to news reports, Megan was accused of calling her friend “a lesbian”; that friend’s mother began the online campaign against Megan.

Ryan Halligan was a young teen who committed suicide in the wake of cyberbullying. Halligan’s father points to the harassment at school where Ryan was called “gay” as the beginning point of Ryan’s descent into despair. Apparently Ryan told a fellow student that he had undergone a rectal exam during an emergency room visit, and that sparked campus-wide gay taunts.

The power of gay slurs remains intense. All bullying is tough on kids-and by all accounts, homophobia remains deeply imbedded in the playground (and now online) culture of adolescents.

In Greenwich Village my son struggled with how to handle the volleyball of gay slurs among the preteen boys. He finally landed on this retort: “Why don’t you say that to my mother? She’s gay”. At least for now his comeback seems to be working. The boys seem startled briefly into retreat. I imagine that a vision of someone’s mother has crept into their heads, and that personification makes hate language a bit harder to use for amusement.